neutrons and 111 assistants to the vice neutrons, giving an atomic mass of
312. The 312 particles
are held together in the nucleus by a force that involves the continuous
exchange of meson-like
particles called memos.
The heaviest element know to science was recently discovered by university
physicists. The
element, tentatively named administratium (Ad), has no protons or
electrons, which means that its
atomic number is zero. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistants to
the neutron, 75 vice
neutrons and 111 assistants to the vice neutrons, giving an atomic mass of
312. The 312 particles
are held together in the nucleus by a force that involves the continuous
exchange of meson-like
particles called memos.
Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically because it seems to impede every reaction in which it is present. According to one of the discoverers of the element, a very small amount of administratium made one reaction, that normally takes less than a second, take over four days.
Administratium has a half-life of about three years, at which time it does
not actually decay.
Instead it undergoes a reorganization in which the assistants to the
neutron, vice neutrons and
assistants to the vice neutrons exchange place. Some studies have indicated
that its mass actually
increases after each reorganization.
Efforts to contact the author of this article, who claimed to be at anon@bourbaki.com, proved fruitless.